Why?
Why, when I read or hear the story of the trial, scourging, and crucifixion of Jesus Christ, do I become emotional every single time? It is hard for me to hold back the tears as I think of betrayal by friends, condemnation by strangers, torture by soldiers, and crucifixion by the world. I cringe as I think of him being whipped and the crown of plaited thorns thrust into His head. I can hardly breathe when I think of the weighted nails driven into His hands and feet. The thirst and fatigue. The sins of the world. The incredible ability to love others, even His accusers, until the end. My heart grieves for His mother, Mary, who was at His cross, watching her son’s unbearable agony, unable to fix the situation or ease His burden. Can you imagine the trauma and heartbreak of His beloved mother?
I am a Christian, and Jesus Christ is at the center of my existence. I believe it is only through Him that I can come to know God and live with Him again. Only through Him can I be forgiven of my sins, receive mercy, heal from the wounds of this world and my personal choices, and move forward in a never-ending process of becoming. I believe His death was part of a greater eternal plan, but that fact does not decrease the depth of personal sadness I experience when I think of His suffering.
As I pondered the great sacrifice of Jesus Christ over the recent Easter holiday, my focus shifted from His death and agony to the perfect beauty in His suffering.
I heard a historian say Jesus Christ really meant nothing to the Romans. They were only concerned about political peace and satisfying those who were in an upheaval over the teachings of Christ. The same historian made a comment that really stood out to me. He said something like, “those who crucified Christ thought after His death it would be the end of this uprising in new religious thinking. Equilibrium would be restored, and Christ would become nothing more than a memory. But, His death did the opposite. The cruelty of His death and the depth of His suffering actually fulfilled a greater purpose. It made Christ, and all He stood for, even more relevant.” That is no accident! The magnitude of the circumstances surrounding His death made it tragically beautiful, and the resiliency in His suffering awe-inspiring. His death opened a door that has transcended centuries and has allowed millions to walk through as they traverse their own personal Gethsemane and Golgotha. Why do I continue to turn to Christ and His story? Because of the beauty and the resiliency of His suffering and His victory over death! I cannot comprehend or identify with his resurrection, although I am eternally grateful to believe in that miracle. But, I find myself bonded to Christ because of His suffering. In my mind, it makes Him relatable on a different level. I find it is the hard part of His story that makes the happy ending so powerful.
Every person who lives will experience 3 distinct things. Birth, death, and suffering. As a mental health counselor, I have been honored to be allowed into the sacred space of grief and suffering with many of my clients. Some of their stories, I will never forget, because it is hard to imagine anyone can go through such traumatic events and survive, and in some cases, thrive.
There have been more times than not when I have wanted to change careers. I often daydream about selling homemade jam on the side of a small town, dirt road. But what keeps me coming back to counseling are clients who find beauty in their suffering and purpose in what they experience—clients who understand the fight and, though exhausted, continue to battle on. It doesn’t make the suffering painless; it makes it bearable and beautiful.
Every person has a story full of joy, happiness, defeat, failure, success, tragedy, and growth. I have never met anyone who doesn’t have a story that seems difficult to believe. The incredible nature of the stories does not lie in the complex layers of pain, trauma, and loss, but in the beauty of the suffering and endurance of resiliency. As Jesus Christ hung on the cross suffering beyond mortal comprehension, He reassured a thief and directed John to take care of His mother. Beautiful compassion during intense suffering.
Positive growth often occurs even when an individual is resistant to the process. It seems that most human beings are hard-wired to regenerate. Life is full of compost pitfalls; times we literally feel we are drowning in crap. But, isn’t it amazing how compost offers a nutrient filled environment for growth? The process of growth may “stink,” but the end product has incredible value.
Life is difficult. Suffering is unpleasant. Peace and joy, often hard to find. However, there is beauty all around us, even in the ugly stuff. Sometimes it is the depth of our suffering and the magnitude of our pain that creates the magnificent beauty and perspective that comes from the hard part of our story. Beautiful things often take time to create. Erosion, pressure, elements beyond mortal comprehension are often engaged. But, when the timing is right, the birth of new perspective and growth occurs.
We all experience hard. No matter what greater power you believe in, what religion you are, what your spiritual mindset may be, suffering is heartbreaking. As you continue into the unknowns of life, and work through your personal suffering, take time to heal. Be kind to yourself and others. Remember when you are sitting in the compost, you are likely growing. Stop and take time to evaluate what is beautiful and meaningful in all the confusion. It may be something as small as a raindrop or as dramatic as a rainbow; whatever it may be, look for it, and when you find it, treasure it.
Finding beauty in our suffering does not minimize or justify suffering, it honors it.
I am gathering stories and pictures of beauty found in suffering. If you have a story or picture and would like to share, please send to my email at melanie@justpresson.com
Examples are:
1. Individuals who show up during a crisis.
2. Being a survivor and “thriver.”
3. The love extended by others through grief.
4. The tender mercies in a tragedy.
5. First responders in an accident.
6. Members of the military and their sacrifice.
7. Stories of perspective and growth.
8. Stories of the process of healing.
9. Stories or pictures of someone quietly serving.
10. Nature.
11. Family members offering support during times of illness.